The next three entries address my recent pregnancy and miscarriage. I wrote the first two entries before These Square Pegs was fully formed in my mind. I knew I wanted to create a new blog where I could write about more than Down syndrome, but I wasn’t sure what direction this new project would take. As I wrote the first entry, the identity of the blog began to gel in my mind, the title came to me, and These Square Pegs just kind of came together. Since the early entries focused on my pregnancy, I figured I would launch the blog after we went public about the bun in the oven.
When I learned that my pregnancy would be cut short, I was tempted to scrap the blog altogether, or at the very least cut out the first two entries and just start fresh. But then I started thinking about how many women go through this silently and alone, women who have followed the rules and hidden their pregnancy in the first trimester, women who have been led to believe by their baby books and websites that if they do suffer a miscarriage, they will want to deal with it privately anyway. And although that may well be true for some women, I think far more women get the message loud and clear that the reason we are hiding our pregnancies with baggy shirts and making up reasons for passing on the cocktails for the first trimester is so that we won’t have to burden anyone with our sob story if something goes wrong.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that kind of thinking just doesn’t jive with my whole reason for creating this blog. Be forewarned, I am going to talk about getting my heart trampled. Feel free to skip it if you don’t like that kind of thing.